What Would Robin Wear

So yesterday I was looking for some photos for my teaching portfolio, and I came across some photos from about four years ago.  I cannot believe that this is me.  I just cannot freaking believe this is me.  It doesn't even look like me.  I have posted some photos.  My friends came over from Wales to stay with me and we were all over town taking pictures.  I will as of today STOP being so hard on myself.

I am so hard on myself sometimes, but I think, I have to be.  I have to stay motivated to be healthy and to try to lose the rest of this weight.  I worked out yesterday with the weights and man my arms are sore today.  I do arms on Monday's for about 30 minutes or so and then I do an hour of cardio.  I try and do MWF weights and as many cardio days as I can.  It is difficult with school work and teaching on Tuesday's and Thursday's but I do the best that I can.  I usually go to the gym on Monday, Wednesday evening, Thursday and Friday.  Three days of weights and cardio and the other day just cardio.  It's difficult.  Has my scale moved..........nope.  NOPE-NOPE NO...no..it has not.  Frustrating. 

I am thinking again about getting a personal trainer so that I stay focused on my weight lifting, but dang it's expensive.  AND the last time he had me lifting WAY too much weight.  So I will seriously consider it and see what I can do.  This is so hard to figure out sometimes all by yourself.  To get so far and then stall for so long is sometimes more than I can stand.  But I find these pictures, and I think I looked sick.  I am so much healthier now and I am trying to focus on that.  It helps to have the support and encouragement from my friends and family.  They always tell me I look great, and I am doing well.

My nephew has recently adopted my military philosophy on food (ok he is worse than I ever was) and exercise and has lost 68 pounds.  He is super serious (obsessive like me)about his diet and exercise and has reached his goal weight (he is 18-sigh) and now is concentrating on his body fat.  He is lifting to change fat to muscle.  He is sort of a super genius and will probably be a surgeon, doctor, or biochemical engineer.  So he thinks that my body is lacking creatin.  Hmmmmm....I may have to buy the supplements, I mean what do I have to lose right?  I take vitamins everyday!  Multi, B12, calcium with vitamin D, and DHEA for hormone control.  What is one more right?  It's worth a shot I think.

Here are my photos...feel free to comment...I can't stop looking at them!!  I will TRY (try is the operative word here) to stop with the self loathing and beating myself up all the time, but it is difficult after a lifetime of doing so..