What Would Robin Wear

This is really hard for me to share, but I am gonna do it anyway.  I do not let people inside my little world, but I think this is theraputic for me and I am tired of explaining myself to the masses...so here is what I am doing for the next 40 days...and WHY you ask...because I can!

I know that people get hysterical when I talk about going on a liquid diet.  I have tried so many different diets, fads, workout till my body is exhausted, starve, I have done it all.  BUT, I have not lost a pound in six months, haven't gained one either, but my poor confused body is in STALL mode.

I have lost 130 pounds in three years, I am proud of that, I worked hard for it and I will not let anyone take that from me.  BUT, it is frustrating, humiliating, and overall just flat out insane that I haven't lost any weight in six months.  I work so hard at my weight loss.  Do I give up?  Hell no!

I went to Texas-The big "D" last week for much needed rest and recuperation from the stress of my Master's program and the overload of coursework, teaching, and mayhem that is my life.  I shopped, I ate too much Tex-Mex food, and overall let myself relax.  I didn't take any workout clothes because that is all I would have focused on, working out.  Instead I let my body heal, rest, eat, drink, and be merry!!

On my way home I decided to pray for guidance on my weight loss journey.  And that is how I decided to do the 40 day detox.  Heck if Jesus can fast for forty days, I can do liquids for forty days right?  I will stick to the rule of 60!  Sixty carbs, sixty protein, sixty minutes of exercise (I do ninety-30 minutes of weights 3 days per week).   

I have coffee with half and half for breakfast, a boiled egg and a yogurt.  For lunch I will have a protein drink and then another at 2.  I will eat tuna, or drink a shake for dinner as well.  I try to stick to 1200 calories a day but so far, I am around 960.  I will eliminate carbs from my diet almost entirely.  With the exception of beans in my chili, I eat a lot of chili, I am from Cincinnati, love the stuff!!!  I call it liquid meat! 

Why do I torture myself you say?  I get this a lot from everyone.  I think when you grow up with a weight problem which becomes the focus of who you are; you continue to focus on it.  I remember being six and being so much taller and so different from the other girls that even the six year olds would comment on my size.  I became sort of a freak.  I retreated into myself, I was shy-I withdrew, I watched TV, I loved art, I did not care about the classmates.  I just ignored them!  My imagination, art, and fabrics became my solace.  I taught myself to sew when I was 2 (that is what my mother said) but I think I was four, I remember making Barbie clothes for my dolls.  I loved beautiful fabrics, the feel of the machine, it gave me purpose.  My grandmothers, and my mother all sewed, but I had to teach myself.  It gave me something positive to do and to be.  So that is what I focused on when I was little.  Sewing, art, being invisible, which is hard when you are the tallest girl in school.

It doesn't make me angry it makes me who I am today.  Independent, focused, kind, compassionate, and sympathetic to those who are different.  It makes me an amazing teacher and gives me an understanding of who I teach. 

So my first day, was OK.  I get really hungry at night, I am trying to not eat after 7 but man that is hard...I can already taste the ketosis in my mouth.  My body is going into ketosis, ugh, make sure you have gum!!!  Bleck....more on the morrow...

Here is my Texas picture from last week....this random cowboy came up and hugged me (loved it) so I stole his hat!  HA!!