What Would Robin Wear

Well---March 23rd, I didn't do so well.  I only ate about 500 calories.  It was a super busy day.  I swear as soon as I landed in Cincinnati on Monday I have NOT stopped.  I am exhausted already! 

I had a yogurt for breakfast.  Then I had to go teach and my advisor was coming to observe me and I was so nervous I couldn't eat.  So I got home around 5 and had some chicken salad on a bed of lettuce and I could only eat a little.  The dogs got the majority of that, yeah they eat lettuce, weird!! 

So I went up to see a friend and took my G2, my protein shake and the Bacardi.  Bacardi has zero carbs and only 60 calories.  My G2 only has around 50 per bottle and zero carbs.  So a new drink is born.  Trust me, I have had better drinks but for the caloric intake...this is awesome.  I call it the Rockin Robin.  Compared to the beer, this puts my calories around 200 (I had two) instead of my beer intake at 1200...I do love beer!!

It was good to laugh with friends.  Of course they lectured me about my 40 day plan, I listened, I tried to explain but most people just do not understand.  I am not doing it solely to lose weight.  It is more of a plan to get myself back into the correct frame of mind.  If you have ever tried to lose weight I think you know what I mean.  It is to focus on maintaining my diet.  I have changed my whole entire life, the way I eat, exercise - everything.  This is helping me focus on staying on the correct path.  I call it a detox it is not just about food!

I guess when I start to remember stories of how cruel people have been to me in my life, I get emotional.  I was telling my friends last night about my experience with the school nurse in the 7th grade.  We had to go in for a physical with her each year (not sure why).  I was about 5'7 or so, maybe 5'8 and weighed about 142 pounds.  I was 12 or 13 at the time.  The nurse told me I was 40 pounds overweight and a myriad of other horrible things.  Like I was unhealthy for a 12 year old.  She told me she was calling my mother about my weight problem.  I was humiliated.  Thinking about this now, I was not overweight at all, I was just tall.  Yes most girls at 12 are small, as in around 5 feet 80 pounds, but that was not me.  I was 7 inches taller than most of my friends and if I would have weighed 100 pounds I would have looked sick..I still to this day do not understand why that nurse was so cruel to me. 

So today my plan is to eat a little more, I need to stay at 1200 calories and I am finding it very difficult to do.  It's either all or nothing with me, I need to map out a plan of what and when to eat and stick to it.