What Would Robin Wear

Well-haven't been doing so well with my diet.  I decided to give my body a rest and have not been to the gym in two weeks. 

I will start again today.  I will do forty minutes on the elliptical and 20 on the bike or treadmill.  I will begin weights again next week. 

I am a very motivated person, do not mistake my motivation for obsession.  While the two hold hands, there is too much I have right now in my life to have this mistaken for obsession.  I am so close to finishing my Master's as an Intervention Specialist for anything to get in my way.  I am also going to start my reading endorsement this summer.  I have no plans to finish that this year, and beleive me I could get it all done, but I would not have much of a summer.  And I really want to relax as much as possible. 

I am drinking my morning protein shake.  It is strawberry AMP Whey Protein.  Three scoops of the powder is 60 grams of protein.  It is the MOST disgusting thing on the planet.  It will take me at least an hour to drink it.  It is flat out nasty.  All the protein drinks are nasty.  I can tolerate the Adkins shakes the best.  Strawberry or chocolate are OK.  They only have 15 grams of protein so I have to drink too many a day and they are uber super expensive.  So the AMP will give me the protein I need in one nasty tall disgusting glass....Trust me this crap is not delicious at all, it's gross.  BUT-it will keep you from losing muscle and hair.  And a bald Robin is just not attractive at all....

I am also taking the Mega Green Tea Dietary Supplements.  They make me slightly hyper, but that is a good thing I think.  I have zoomed around the yard and the pool is open and it looks amazing...painted the shed bar, the doors-raked, mowed, I didn't stop for two weeks.  I cannot take them after 3 in the afternoon or I do not sleep.  So I take one for breakfast. 

Since I took two weeks off the gym, I have gained four pounds.  Yes four pounds in two weeks.  With all the birthdays and parties this month.  I do believe it is the beer consumption.  Even though I only drink Mich Ultra, it is just a waste of calories, but nonetheless much needed fun and relaxation and above all;  LAUGHTER with my friends! 

I have to get this four pounds off me, and try to jump start this stubborn body of mine, this week is not going to be a good week for me, so I would advise you all to stay away....LOL!

I am seriously considering giving up the gym till the fall.  You all know I workout often and hard, but it doesn't really seem to have any affect at all on my weight loss.  I work so hard in the summer outside, I figure I would save some money and cancel my membership.  Any thoughts out there??  I will miss my cardio, but I will be working outside, just not as hard.  My fear is that I will get out of my routine and not ever go back, and since I do not have a doctor that guides me, I may do what ever I want - like before.  I do need lots of support, I just didn't realize how much I needed until now.  I will have to find something or someone that can help me in that area.  My PCP is so busy it would be impossible.  So maybe I will try and find a new dietitian here in the Cincinnati area.  I have to have someone to be accountable too.  I damn well know it too!

Heck-- I spent three hours in the torrential downpour on Monday cleaning the front garden. Wet leaves are heavy.  My legs are super sore from pulling weeds...My roses are doing well.  I love roses, yellow-my personal favorite.  Red--passe, over used, ORDINARY!  I love flowers.  LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THEM....where is my Prince charming (or his brother) that will send me flowers, just because?  OK so I watched Cinderella yesterday while out with my study group!

Anyway, my friend (the tall gnome) told me that after a hard workout, you should have a beer.  It is actually better for you than water, Gatorade, etc.  Like she had to twist my arm at all for that.  The downside...it's kinda weird to go into a drinking establishment in the middle of the afternoon and have a beer or two.  But it was fun, and we don't do that often. 

Read the article on beer after a workout...I am so HAPPY about this!  I know it would get the HUGE KAPOSH from the doctor world, but at this point...who cares!  It's summer! (ALMOST)

http://www.wcpo.com/dpp/news/health/water-may-be-the-drink-of-choice-to-rehydrate-after-working-out%2C-but-one-type-of-alcohol-is-better

As for sugar!  It is really really difficult to give up the poison sugar.  The only thing I miss about it - ice cream.  But I just freeze low carb yogurt or ready whip, cool whip etc.  I want to grab a cookie, or slice of pie sometimes, but not because I want it, but because it is a habit of a life time.  I cannot stand the taste of it at all anymore.  I can't even drink a diet coke.  It's like syrup.  Yes, it was hard the first year of no sugar, but then it just became very easy.  I do not crave it, nor do I want it-EVER!  It's hard at Christmas with all the chocolate and fudge etc, but again, I only want it out of habit, not because I have a taste for it. 

My friend is trying to give up soda (pop) and it is killing her sometimes.  I keep telling her it is liquid SATAN.  She is doing well, but sometimes, she just wants a Coke with her Skyline.  LOL, it is funny but I understand how hard it is to give that up.  I assure you, it gets easier, I promise!!  Hang in there everyone!!  We can do it..

PS>....I am about to throw my scale out the window into my pool which is all sludge and disgusting leaves and watch it sink to it's death.  Therapeutic..I will of course go buy another one, but today it will feel really damn good!

So yesterday I was looking for some photos for my teaching portfolio, and I came across some photos from about four years ago.  I cannot believe that this is me.  I just cannot freaking believe this is me.  It doesn't even look like me.  I have posted some photos.  My friends came over from Wales to stay with me and we were all over town taking pictures.  I will as of today STOP being so hard on myself.

I am so hard on myself sometimes, but I think, I have to be.  I have to stay motivated to be healthy and to try to lose the rest of this weight.  I worked out yesterday with the weights and man my arms are sore today.  I do arms on Monday's for about 30 minutes or so and then I do an hour of cardio.  I try and do MWF weights and as many cardio days as I can.  It is difficult with school work and teaching on Tuesday's and Thursday's but I do the best that I can.  I usually go to the gym on Monday, Wednesday evening, Thursday and Friday.  Three days of weights and cardio and the other day just cardio.  It's difficult.  Has my scale moved..........nope.  NOPE-NOPE NO...no..it has not.  Frustrating. 

I am thinking again about getting a personal trainer so that I stay focused on my weight lifting, but dang it's expensive.  AND the last time he had me lifting WAY too much weight.  So I will seriously consider it and see what I can do.  This is so hard to figure out sometimes all by yourself.  To get so far and then stall for so long is sometimes more than I can stand.  But I find these pictures, and I think I looked sick.  I am so much healthier now and I am trying to focus on that.  It helps to have the support and encouragement from my friends and family.  They always tell me I look great, and I am doing well.

My nephew has recently adopted my military philosophy on food (ok he is worse than I ever was) and exercise and has lost 68 pounds.  He is super serious (obsessive like me)about his diet and exercise and has reached his goal weight (he is 18-sigh) and now is concentrating on his body fat.  He is lifting to change fat to muscle.  He is sort of a super genius and will probably be a surgeon, doctor, or biochemical engineer.  So he thinks that my body is lacking creatin.  Hmmmmm....I may have to buy the supplements, I mean what do I have to lose right?  I take vitamins everyday!  Multi, B12, calcium with vitamin D, and DHEA for hormone control.  What is one more right?  It's worth a shot I think.

Here are my photos...feel free to comment...I can't stop looking at them!!  I will TRY (try is the operative word here) to stop with the self loathing and beating myself up all the time, but it is difficult after a lifetime of doing so..